God is good, all the time, and all the time, God is good! I finally have a job! I had become abnormally brilliant at being a bum so this new job is definately a change of pace. I landed a position at one of the top HBCUs in the country. Although I’m extremely grateful that God has blessed me with some income, I’d be lying if I said I was completely in love with my job. I’ve been trying not to complain because having a job is way better than being broke. Also, this is only a temporary position so I won’t have to deal with the shenanigans for long. However, I’m not sure if constantly feeling like the Olivia Pope of my department is worth the few coins they throw at me every other Friday. I have to fix all the problems that arise and everyone’s lack of planning suddenly becomes my emergency. At least Olivia’s work environment provides her with stress relievers in the form of men. Don’t get me wrong there are some gorgeous guys here but the problem is they are more interested in my shoes than they are me. So the lack of love interests and the heightened stress level at my job have encouraged the party girl in me to come out more often.
Judy and I went out for Halloween a few weeks ago. As a child I was never really allowed to fully celebrate what was often referred to as the “devil’s holiday”. Now that I’m grown I took full advantage of finding a naughty costume and pairing it with some “come and get me” heels! Getting all dolled up and kicking it with my girls helped me get my mind off the woes of the workplace. I twerked my butt off that night and felt pretty darn good about my life choices. So good in fact that I decided to behave the exact same way at Judy’s office holiday party. It was there that I unwilling got chose by a lesbian and successfully eye banged the guy in the white and black bow tie. He is one of Judy’s coworkers and may need a nickname if he keeps flirting with me. Although he’s fine, I shouldn’t be trying to add anymore entertainment to my plate right now. Especially since my hoes are currently out of control.
All the men in my life have been acting up lately but one in particular is doing the most right now. This blast from the past has taken hoedom and disrespect to the next level. I cannot believe Usher just got engaged! I’m completely and utterly disturbed for two reasons. Number 1: I’m back in the Midwest for Thanksgiving and I only had two things on my mind: Fried turkey and Usher’s penis. I was gonna try to set up a secret rendezvous with him but now that’s clearly not gonna happen! Number 2: Although my character hasn’t been angel-like lately, specifically when it comes to men, I never have and never will sign up to be anybody’s side chick. Damn, now I’m really feeling like Olivia Pope except I had no clue that he had a girlfriend. Of course I knew I probably wasn’t the only one making him cum. However, I was under the assumption that he was just a hoe out here sowing his royal oats. But no, he was clearly cheating on his chick the entire time. I don’t get it. There are so many different types of situationships that this new world generation of Thots (that hoe over there) have created to make being committed a non-issue. So I’m having a hard time comprehending why he would intentionally be in a relationship with her when he knew he was going to mess around with me and all the others. We were going to have a threesome for his birthday for goodness sakes! I feel so sorry for his fiancé. I wonder if she knows about his infidelity. If the walls of his apartment could talk they’d tell tales of our shadows becoming one and of our moans disturbing the neighbors. If the walls of my playhouse could talk they’d be in therapy right now trying to erase the memory of his existence.
“Things are not always as they seem; the first appearance deceives many”-Phaedrus
