I’ve been in Atlanta for a little over two weeks now and I’ve found myself experiencing writer’s block. There hasn’t been a lot of interesting adventures for me to write about lately because I do the same thing every single day. The whole point of this move was to step outside of my comfort zone, not to pack it up and take it with me. My daily routine basically includes reading my bible, going to the gym then searching for employment. Although most of those activities enhance me spiritually and physically, I doubt I can deposit those enhancements into my bank account. Your girl is going to need some coins very soon if I want to be able to live comfortably. Atlanta is so far from being a cheap city it’s ridiculous.
So until I can find a full time gig with benefits I may need to dabble in a few part time positions. But what is there to do? What am I qualified for? I guess I could be an exotic dancer. I’m an aspiring twerkoholic anyway. I have the stripper kick down but my ability to throw my assets in a circle is not up to par. Plus I’m only sexy on accident. When I actually try to be sexy it never works out in my favor. I can just see myself sliding and falling off the pole because I put on baby oil before my performance. And we’re not even going to talk about my lack of upper body strength. However, I signed up for a pole dancing class this weekend and if they put a gold star by my name, you may see me in a strip joint near you.
I also contemplated being a flight attendant. This would be a perfect way for me to fly back to see my family and friends for free! However, I don’t know how I feel about being couped up with a bunch of strangers with no easy escape route. I’m currently in the honesty phase of my life and I’ve realized that I don’t like a lot people for real. I just don’t have enough fake energy to maintain a bubbly personality all day. On top of that I’m not sure the airlines would pay me enough to deal with the different attitudes that I might encounter. Last but not least, I’m afraid of heights so my fantasy of being a sexy Stewardess has gone completely out the window unless it’s this year’s Halloween costume.
Being a club promoter or a personal trainer also crossed my mind but I’m definitely not built for that either. I always feel thoroughly disrespected when someone hands me a flyer after the club. I usually have my keys in one hand and my phone in the other trying to figure out which one of my boos is still up. The flyer gets all in my way and usually ends up in the floor anyway. Why would I now consider being one of those people that ruins the post club choosery experience? In order to become a personal trainer I would have to be, I don’t know….fit! Don’t get me wrong, I’m fierce in the worst way but I still jiggle in some places that shall remain nameless. Also, if my trainee is fine I may or may not get in trouble for indecent exposure. If these are the only part time options that I can think of, my life is not headed towards greatness. I need to figure something out though because time is winding down and so is my bank account.
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