Situationships

I think Jay-Z is really in to me! We exchanged numbers on Friday night before I "played footsie" with the toe sucker. Jay-Z already had plans for Saturday but asked if he could take me on a date on Sunday after church. I was super excited. It felt good to be asked on a real date instead of being asked to just hang out. We went spiked punch tasting. As much wine as I drink you would think that my tolerance would be higher than it is. I was beyond tipsy at the tasting but managed to maintain my sexy by not stumbling over my words or my own two feet. One of the punches reminded me of the drink my Granny makes for us at Christmas dinner. She ain't slick! I had a feeling she was putting more than just pineapple juice in there. Although I wasn't acting a hot drunken mess, he could tell that I was feeling the alcohol so he took me to dinner to sober me up. He had the nerve to pay for dinner as well as pay attention! I know I shouldn't be this surprised but Gentleman are an endangered species nowadays. 

After dinner, we went back to his place for a night cap. Two movies, several forehead kisses and a back rub later, it was clear that I wouldn't be sleeping in my own bed that night. He kept his hands to himself but told me the dopest bed time story ever!  It consisted of his attraction for me and the things that he would do to me if given the opportunity. His words were reminiscent of the Phenomenal Woman poem; except his version had popped a few esctasy pills. My excitement leaked through my laced underwear as well as the basketball shorts that he let me borrow. It was clear that we both wanted the same thing but Genesis was in full control that night and didn't allow anything to happen. 

A couple of days later my presence was requested for another movie night. After 45 minutes of Siri's shenanigans, I finally made it to his place. He greeted me with a big hug and a kiss. We tried to watch the movie but it didn't end up working in our favor. We did, however, make love faces until about three in the morning. This was not supposed to happen. I'm in between waxes so my "lioness" was not as tamed as it needed to be. That didn't stop him though. He was fearless and definitely came dressed for battle. After we celebrated the triumph, I hopped in the shower to cleanse myself of my most recent impurities. I found myself laughing audibly about the irony that I had already named him Jay-Z. His reaction to my head game was equivalent to the Drunk In Love verse, "I do say it's the ish, if I do say so myself". But my laughter was soon silenced by what I like to call Basic Female Syndrome (BFS). It's when chicks feel the need to ask unnecessary questions like, "so what are we"? I've known this man for all of five minutes so I'd feel stupid asking him where this is going. A part of me was already feeling dumb for giving it up so easily and didn't need another dagger in my self esteem. However my Stunt Double was satisfied with life and went to bed without a care in the world. 

The morning after is always tricky. I got up, got dressed and left his apartment quickly as if I were late to work something. It reminded me of an episode of Martin because he was looking at me like "you ain't got no job man"! When I got home I looked at my phone to find a text message from him saying "You're amazing! I can't wait to see you on Thursday". Shoont! I forgot we had already made plans to watch Scandal prior to me letting him explore my body. I wasn't sure if I wanted to hang out with him again so soon. I didn't want him to expect anything or think that this is more than what it really is. Although my experiences with him have been wonderfully delicious, it doesn't negate the fact that we met about a week ago *insert shmoney dance here*. In Steve Harvey's best selling book, Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady, he basically tells women that until your boo has truly fulfilled his destiny as a man, he will be too busy to focus on you. Well clearly the roles have reversed and I'm temporarily sabotaging myself because I'm not satisfied with my life. I've finally been receiving some positive feedback on my applications, but until I have a guaranteed salary and an insurance package I won't be able to fully focus on one man. Darn! So much for trying to turn a hoe into a Real Housewife of Atlanta. 

"Situationship (n.): dynamics that are based on sexual compatibility, habit, and fear of loneliness"